The Saga of Survival: Raising Two Daughters Amidst Chaos and Coffee-Fueled Nights

 


The Saga of Survival: Raising Two Daughters Amidst Chaos and Coffee-Fueled Nights

Backstory:
So here’s where you’re at—a 15-year-old navigating a sea of grief, identity crises, and unresolved anger, alongside a 9-year-old questioning if “dad” is even a real job title. Meanwhile, you’re left feeling like the referee in a match where the rules are constantly changing. Oh, and don’t forget the family that’s distanced themselves, leaving you to wonder if they’ve mistaken you for a cactus.

Step 1: The 15-Year-Old and the Emotional Tsunami

Let’s start with your oldest. Grief, trauma, and hormonal rage make a terrifying combo—like a tornado with a bad attitude.

What to Do:

  • Keep It Real: Tell her, “Life is unfair, and yes, it sucks. But we can cry, scream, and eat a ridiculous amount of ice cream together if needed.”
  • Give Her a Job: Make her the “big sister mentor.” Let her know she’s setting an example for her younger sibling—responsibility gives her something to focus on besides the pain.
  • Lean on Humor: Example: “You survived your stepdad’s awful jokes and favoritism. This? This is cake.”

Step 2: The 9-Year-Old and the Dad Dilemma

Your youngest just wants a dad who doesn’t treat parenting like a side hustle. Her disappointment is valid, but you can help her manage those expectations.

What to Do:

  • Set a New Narrative: Explain that not all dads win Father of the Year, and that’s on them, not her. Then offer, “But you’ve got me, and I’m awesome, so there’s that!”
  • Create Rituals: Start “Mom and Me Time” to show her that she doesn’t need validation from a neglectful dad to feel special.
  • Positive Role Models: Look for a coach, teacher, or mentor who can show her that not all adults are as inconsistent as her father.

Step 3: You Deserve a Damn Trophy

Seriously, you’re juggling a 3-ring circus, and you’re doing it without a net. You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed.

What to Do:

  • Therapy or Bust: You’ve done it before—keep going. It’s not just for your kids; it’s for you.
  • Delegate Where Possible: Is there anyone who can take on even a small part of the load? Neighbors, church groups, or even online support communities might surprise you.
  • Celebrate the Small Wins: Did everyone survive today? Yes? Great. That’s a win.

Step 4: Books to the Rescue

Sometimes, it takes a little external wisdom to keep going. Here are three highly-rated reads:

Final Thought:

You’re doing more than surviving; you’re showing your daughters what strength looks like. That’s the kind of legacy they’ll carry long after they’ve moved past this storm. And hey, if you ever need to vent again, we’re here.

Would you like help creating a plan to lighten your load at home? Or perhaps some witty comebacks for the chaos life throws your way? Let me know!

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