Dr. Lippy

A concerned parent discovers that their 16-year-old daughter has been using "snuz," small white pouches popular among young people, particularly as an alternative to smoking. While the parent initially thought it was "just" nicotine, they’re now wondering if it could be something more harmful. Snus (pronounced "snooze") and similar products like nicotine pouches are smokeless tobacco or nicotine delivery systems. These small pouches are placed between the lip and gum, releasing nicotine directly into the bloodstream. While some are marketed as tobacco-free and contain only nicotine, flavors, and plant fibers, others may include trace amounts of tobacco. It's unlikely these pouches contain anything beyond nicotine, but the risks are still significant. Nicotine is highly addictive, and products like snus can lead to dependency, especially in teens whose developing brains are more susceptible to addiction. Beyond addiction, nicotine use in adolescence can...

  A mother shares her struggle with her children who think she’s too strict. Her “rules” include basic expectations like keeping their rooms clean, helping with household chores, and staying safe. Since the divorce, her eldest son has chosen to live with their father, where there are fewer rules. The children refuse to help her but willingly do similar tasks for their father. She feels unsupported and frustrated, especially since she’s trying to build a structured home post-divorce. Your expectations are not unreasonable—they’re the building blocks of a respectful and functioning household. What’s happening here likely stems from a combination of the parenting dynamics in your marriage, the allure of their father’s more relaxed home, and their adjustment to the post-divorce reality. Children often gravitate to the “easier” environment, not realizing the long-term benefits of structure and responsibility. It’s particularly hurtful when they refuse to help you but willingly support t...

Coming from an Asian family where conversations about sex and periods are often considered taboo, you’re breaking a generational cycle by wanting to talk openly with your 9- and 11-year-old daughters. It’s a courageous step that will empower them with knowledge and help them make informed decisions as they grow. 1. Understand Why It’s Important While it can feel awkward, having open conversations about sex and reproductive health teaches your daughters: To view their bodies with respect and understanding. To recognize healthy versus unhealthy relationships. To feel confident asking questions and seeking help when needed. 2. Timing Matters The ages of 9 and 11 are perfect for starting these conversations. At this stage, you can begin with the basics and build on the information as they grow. 3. How to Approach the Topic Start with Comfort and Trust Create a relaxed environment to make the conversation feel natural: Pick a quiet moment, like during a walk or while doing a shared activity...

A divorced mother struggles with her two teenage sons, 18 and 15, who frequently disrespect her and show little appreciation for her efforts. Their father’s more luxurious home and lack of boundaries have led to them spending most of their time there, leaving her feeling excluded and frustrated. With Christmas approaching, she’s torn between hosting them or stepping back to avoid more arguments. 1. Why This Dynamic Exists Your situation is challenging but not uncommon post-divorce. Here are some factors at play: Learned Behavior : Your ex’s disrespectful behavior toward you may have set an unhealthy example for your sons, normalizing this attitude. Comfort vs. Boundaries : Their father’s home offers luxuries and fewer rules, which can be more appealing to teenagers. Teen Independence : At this age, teens often focus on their own needs and social lives, sometimes at the expense of family relationships. Emotional Complexity : Divorce is hard on kids, even if they don’t outwardly express ...

A concerned parent shares their distress after discovering their child using a burner phone for Snapchat and finding inappropriate content sent by a male schoolmate, including explicit images of older men. They’re torn between reporting the issue to the school or directly warning the sender through the app to prevent future incidents. 1. Acknowledge Your Reaction and Emotions First, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of anger, sadness, and protectiveness in this situation. Discovering that your child is exposed to such harmful content is a gut punch, but the fact that you’re addressing it shows your strength and care as a parent. 2. Address the Root Issue with Your Child Before deciding on a course of action regarding the sender, focus on having a heart-to-heart conversation with your daughter: Start With Support : “I know you’re probably feeling overwhelmed about this, but I want you to know we’ll figure it out together.” Explain the Risks : Discuss the dangers of burner phones and ...

A mom shares her sadness over a misunderstanding with her 18-year-old daughter’s boyfriend and his mom. After discussing appropriate behavior at someone else’s house, her daughter misinterpreted the advice and relayed it to her boyfriend, who shared it with his mom, leading to accusations and miscommunication. The mom feels caught in a swirl of confusion and wonders how to handle the situation to restore peace. 1. Start with Empathy for All Parties This situation stems from good intentions all around: You care about teaching your daughter respect and independence. The other mom is trying to enforce boundaries in her home. The kids are navigating a serious relationship while still growing emotionally. Miscommunications are bound to happen with so many perspectives involved. 2. Revisit the Conversation with Your Daughter Your daughter likely shared your talk with her boyfriend because she felt it was helpful. However, it might not have come across as intended. Gently clarify the purpose ...