Teen son, 16, usually a great kid with good grades, a job, and respect for the rules, just got into big trouble.

 


A reader asks:

Teen son, 16, usually a great kid with good grades, a job, and respect for the rules, just got into big trouble. He drove a friend’s unregistered, uninsured car with fake plates, got pulled over speeding (74 in a 50), and walked away with three tickets. Now I’ve grounded him, taken away all privileges, and hit him with the full weight of consequences. How would you handle this, or have you been through something similar?

My take:

Well, it sounds like your son’s great decision-making skills took a detour somewhere around “Why not drive a rolling felony?” lane. First, let’s acknowledge that the kid is 16—a mix of hormones, invincibility complex, and occasional lapses in judgment. This is a serious situation, though, and the consequences should match the gravity while also being constructive.

Start by hitting him where it hurts but teaches:

  1. Financial Responsibility: Those tickets aren’t paying themselves. If he has a job, great—he’s on the hook. No job? Well, welcome to the chore economy. He’ll be scrubbing every surface in your home until those fines are paid off.
  2. Legal Education: Have him research what could have happened if he got into an accident with that uninsured car. Bonus points if he writes an essay about the dangers of driving an unregistered vehicle.
  3. Parental Driving School: Extend the time he has to keep his learner’s permit before even considering him for a license. He needs to earn back trust and prove he understands the responsibility of being behind the wheel.

Finally, throw in some perspective. A discussion about how one bad decision can have long-term consequences (legal and personal) is key. It might help to bring in an outside voice—maybe a trusted mentor, coach, or even an attorney willing to scare him straight with a chat.

As for you, take a deep breath. You’re doing the right thing by stepping in and addressing this head-on. He’s still young and has time to learn from this colossal misstep.

Here are two Amazon resources to help guide the way:

And remember, grounding is just step one. Turning this into a life lesson is the real win.

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