My son gets picked on and bullied.

 


A Reader Asks:

"My son gets picked on and bullied. It’s been happening for at least five years. He’s a freshman now, and today, some kids filled his boots with water during wrestling practice. Why are kids such dickheads? I just don’t get it."

The Answer:

First, let’s acknowledge that your frustration is 100% valid. Watching your kid deal with this nonsense is like trying to sit still while someone pokes you in the ribs repeatedly. But let’s take a breath and dissect this: Is this a classic case of bullying, or could it (possibly, maybe) be a misguided attempt at team bonding?

1. Pranks and Sports Culture

In sports, pranks can sometimes be part of team dynamics—like a weird rite of passage. Are they annoying? Yes. Do they build resilience and camaraderie if handled right? Also yes. Think of it as hazing-lite. While dumping water in boots is annoying and inconvenient, it’s not exactly mean-spirited, and how your son reacts can determine whether this becomes a one-off or escalates.

Encourage him to take it in stride. Say something like, “That sucks, but don’t let them see you sweat—literally or figuratively. Laugh it off, toss on your wet boots, and show them it doesn’t bother you.” Confidence is kryptonite to these antics.

2. Is It Really Bullying?

Here’s the litmus test:

  • One-off Prank: Annoying but harmless.
  • Pattern of Targeting: If it’s happening repeatedly or there’s intent to humiliate, it’s time to raise concerns.

Encourage your son to observe whether these kids are messing with everyone or singling him out. If it’s just him, then it’s more serious than a lighthearted prank.

3. Talk It Out (Without Helicoptering)

Ask your son how he feels about it:

  • Does he see it as harmless, or is it genuinely upsetting him?
  • Does he want you to step in, or does he want to handle it himself?

This lets him feel in control of the situation. If he’s leaning toward handling it, encourage him to use humor to defuse the situation. For example: “Next time, fill their singlets with Jell-O. Two can play this game.”

4. When to Involve Coaches or Staff

If the pranks escalate or start affecting his mental health or participation in the sport, loop in the coach. Coaches are often keenly aware of team dynamics and can squash anything that crosses the line into bullying.

Books to Help Your Son Handle the Chaos


  1. “The Survival Guide to Bullying” by Aija Mayrock

    • Written by someone who’s been there, this book is packed with practical advice.

  2. “Stand Up for Yourself & Your Friends” by Patti Kelley Criswell

    • A solid guide for building self-confidence and navigating tricky social situations.

A Little Humor for the Road:
Next time it happens, tell him to keep a goldfish in his waterlogged boots. Nothing says, “Your prank didn’t faze me,” like turning it into an impromptu aquarium.

Worth a shot? 🥋

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