"My daughter will be 17 and is very overweight. "
"My daughter will be 17 and is very overweight. She is so smart, and I have tried to get her to go to the gym or eat better with no luck. Does anyone have any ideas that have worked for me to try?"
My Take: I have a friend whose daughter struggled with a similar issue. Now, as an adult, she’s battling serious depression tied to her size. It’s heartbreaking, and it highlights how critical it is to address this now—not just physically, but emotionally, too.
The key here isn’t about pushing her to diet or hit the gym—it’s about creating a supportive environment where she feels empowered to make changes on her terms. Teens often resist when they feel pressured, but they’ll engage when they feel in control.
Start with small, achievable steps:
- Focus on fun, not fitness. Forget the gym—try activities she might enjoy, like dance classes, hiking, or even a martial arts class. Let her explore until she finds something she loves.
- Cook together. Instead of “eat better,” make it about experimenting with fun, healthy recipes together. Create a judgment-free zone where she feels excited about food, not restricted by it.
- Talk about feelings, not numbers. Ask how she feels about her body and listen without judgment. Let her guide the conversation about what she wants to change, if anything.
And consider enlisting help from a professional, like a nutritionist or counselor, who can frame these issues in a neutral, supportive way.
Helpful Resources:
- "Body Love: A Guide to Food Freedom" by Kelly LeVeque – A practical, approachable book available on Amazon.
- National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) – Offers support and resources for building a healthy relationship with food and body image.
And remember: The goal isn’t just a smaller body—it’s a happier, healthier daughter who feels good about herself.

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