"My 18-year-old son is so lazy


 A Reader Asks:

*"My 18-year-old son is so lazy he won’t even put sheets on his bed. Yes, you read that right—he sleeps directly on the bare mattress. I’ve asked him repeatedly to use sheets, but he refuses, claiming it’s no big deal. His room is a disaster zone: piles of dirty clothes, trash, and dishes that might actually have their own ecosystem by now.

I’m worried about dust mites and bed bugs. Can they really show up from this mess? Where do bed bugs even come from? I’m ready to tell him to find his own place if he can’t follow some basic hygiene rules. Am I overreacting, or do I have a future star of Hoarders under my roof? Help!"*

The Answer:
Oh, the teenage years—a magical time where independence turns into laziness, and suddenly you’re questioning your entire parenting strategy. Rest assured, you’re not overreacting. This isn’t just about grossness; it’s about basic hygiene and future life skills. (Spoiler: you’re doing society a favor by addressing this now.)

Why Teens Think Sheets Are Optional:

  1. Effort Is Overrated:
    In his mind, putting sheets on a bed is a full-on construction project. Lift the mattress? Tuck in corners? He might as well be asked to build IKEA furniture.

  2. He Thinks He’s Invincible:
    Dust mites and bed bugs? He assumes they’re myths, like Bigfoot or leftover pizza that doesn’t get eaten by midnight.

  3. The “Whatever” Mentality:
    His standards for cleanliness are… flexible. If it doesn’t directly inconvenience him (yet), he doesn’t see the problem.

How to Handle This Without Losing Your Sanity (or Throwing Him Out):

  1. Get Gross (With a Purpose):
    Pull out your phone and Google some very graphic images of dust mites and bed bug infestations. Trust me, nothing motivates like fear.

    • Pro Tip: Throw in a fact or two, like how dust mites love feeding on dead skin and bed bugs thrive in messy environments. Then, casually point at his bed.

  2. Lay Down the Law (Literally):
    Make it a house rule: “If you live here, you use sheets. No exceptions.” Offer him a choice of two sets—bonus points if you pick something embarrassing, like unicorns, for the “wrong” choice.

  3. Make It Foolproof:
    Set up the bed for him once to show how easy it is. Then, if he refuses, remind him that no sheets = no Wi-Fi. (What’s a bigger motivator than TikTok scrolling?)

  4. Get the Trash Out:
    His room’s other horrors? Tackle those with humor and bribery.

    • “I’ll give you $5 for every trash bag you fill. But if I find a plate growing mold, I’m doubling your rent.”

Books to Help You Manage (and Laugh Through) the Chaos:

  1. “Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?” by Anthony E. Wolf

    • A hilarious, spot-on guide to surviving teens and their maddening habits.

  2. “The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans” by Josh Shipp

    • Great insights into understanding what’s behind their questionable decisions (like sleeping on bare mattresses).

  3. “How to Raise an Adult” by Julie Lythcott-Haims

    • Perfect for preparing your teen for adulthood… even if they’re not ready to embrace sheets just yet.

Let’s Get Real:

Your son isn’t incurable, but he’s definitely testing your patience. The good news? This phase won’t last forever. The bad news? It might take a combination of tough love, humor, and a lot of Febreze to get through it.

You’ve got this. And hey, at least he’s not trying to turn the mattress into a couch (yet).

Worth a shot?

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