My 16-year-old daughter hasn’t been home for over a week.

 


"My 16-year-old daughter hasn’t been home for over a week. She comes by occasionally to grab clothes or makeup, but she’s staying with a 21-year-old man who has no job, moves frequently, and is using and supplying drugs, including to her. She’s struggled with mental health issues, and this started before she turned 16. I’ve contacted the police and welfare multiple times, but they say there’s little they can do. I’m overwhelmed and worried sick about her every day. She’s still naive in many ways and doesn’t fully grasp the dangers she’s in. What can I do? I desperately need advice and help."

My Take: First, I want to acknowledge the sheer weight of what you’re going through. Watching your child make harmful choices and feeling powerless to intervene is every parent’s nightmare. You’ve done the right thing by reaching out for help, and even if the system feels unresponsive, don’t give up hope—there are still steps you can take.

  1. Engage Professionals Who Can Help:

    • Contact a youth outreach service or family support organization that specializes in at-risk teens. They often have trained staff who know how to connect with teens in these situations.
    • Speak with a counselor or therapist yourself to gain strategies for managing your emotions and navigating this crisis.

  2. Build a Bridge, Not a Wall:

    • Keep communication open and non-confrontational. Let her know she can always come to you without fear of judgment or punishment.
    • Emphasize your love and concern for her safety, rather than focusing on criticizing her choices.

  3. Legal Pathways:

    • Consider filing a Child Protection Order or equivalent in your area, which could allow you to intervene legally. Some jurisdictions allow parents to pursue this even when a child is 16.
    • Consult a lawyer who specializes in family law to explore any additional legal options.

  4. Educate and Equip:

    • If she’s using drugs, providing her with resources about addiction and harm reduction could plant a seed. Sometimes hearing about these dangers from someone other than a parent can be more impactful.

  5. Lean on Support Networks:

    • Reach out to local support groups for parents of teens in crisis. They can provide emotional support and practical advice from others who have been in similar situations.

Helpful Resources:

  1. "The Lost Years: Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare" by Kristina Wandzilak and Constance Curry – A powerful memoir and guide, available on Amazon.
  2. National Runaway Safeline (1-800-RUNAWAY) – Offers resources and support for parents of teens in risky situations.

And remember: You’re not alone in this. The road is long, but with persistence and love, there’s still hope.

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