My 14-year-old daughter has been arrested again for stealing

 


A Reader Asks:

"My 14-year-old daughter has been arrested again for stealing—this time hiding items in her hoodie, joggers, and Ugg-style boots. I’m at my wit’s end. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and now I’m losing hope. I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to feel like maybe prison is the only option left. What can I do?"

The Answer:
First off, let me tell you: you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. Parenting a teenager who’s acting out is one of the toughest things anyone can face. But before you book her a cell, let’s step back and consider a few things. There could be underlying factors here—emotional struggles, peer pressure, or even undiagnosed issues driving her behavior. The good news? There’s help available, and this isn’t the end of the road.

Steps to Consider Before Giving Up Hope:

  1. Dig Into the Why:
    Sometimes, stealing isn’t just about wanting things; it can be a cry for help. She might be acting out due to stress, low self-esteem, or feeling a lack of control in her life. Getting to the root cause with a therapist or counselor can uncover what’s really going on.

  2. Professional Help:
    Consider working with a therapist who specializes in adolescent behavior. A structured program or group therapy might also help her connect with peers going through similar challenges.

  3. Collaborate With School and Community Resources:
    Many schools and communities have intervention programs for teens who are headed down a risky path. These programs focus on accountability, empathy, and life skills to get kids back on track.

Highly-Rated Books to Help You Navigate This Journey:

  1. “The Explosive Child” by Dr. Ross Greene

    • A compassionate guide to understanding and addressing challenging behaviors in kids. It emphasizes problem-solving and communication.

  2. “Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions” by Pat Harvey and Jeanine Penzo

    • A practical guide for navigating emotional outbursts and setting boundaries while building trust.

  3. “The Defiant Child” by Dr. Douglas A. Riley

    • Offers insight into defiance and difficult behaviors with strategies to rebuild a positive parent-child relationship.

The Big Picture:

It’s easy to feel like you’re at the end of your rope, but this phase doesn’t define her—or you. With the right support and tools, she can turn things around. And remember, you’re not just fighting for her behavior—you’re fighting for her future.

Worth a shott?

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