My 13-year-old stepdaughter is getting called fat almost weekly at school


 "My 13-year-old stepdaughter is getting called fat almost weekly at school, mostly by boys. She is coming home in tears some days.

She says she is 'used to it,' but how do you even get used to being called that?
It's infuriating, and I have no idea how to go about this. She's a big girl, very tall, with big features, but I wouldn't call her 'fat.'
She developed at a young age; she looks 18 even though she's 13.
She is basically starving herself at the moment—she never takes food to school, and she's eating less and less at home.
I might also mention her mother abandoned her entirely 5 years ago.
I'm at a loss at how to deal with this. Please give me some advice. This is heartbreaking."

My Take: First of all, you’re already doing something incredible—you care deeply, and that’s a powerful start. Your stepdaughter is lucky to have someone in her corner. Now, let’s give her the tools to handle this cruelty with confidence and resilience.

Teach her the power of humor. When someone throws an insult her way, encourage her to flip it with wit. Not only does it disarm bullies, but it gives her control over the narrative. She can say it before they do and laugh—because when you own the punchline, the joke stops being funny for them. Think of women like Tina Fey, Melissa McCarthy, or Rebel Wilson—they’ve built legacies on owning who they are, and their humor is their armor.

Next, help her realize that her size, her height, her features—everything she’s self-conscious about right now—are assets. There’s a reason models like Ashley Graham, actresses like Gwendoline Christie, and comedians like Nicole Byer are celebrated for their presence, beauty, and talent. Big features? Big energy. Big future.

Finally, address the deeper issue: her relationship with food and self-worth. Talk openly about how starving herself won’t fix how she feels—it’ll only hurt her. Consider therapy with someone experienced in body image and self-esteem for teens. A safe space to process her emotions and rebuild confidence could be a game-changer.

Helpful Resources:

  1. "Body Positive Power" by Megan Jayne Crabbe – A great read on building a positive body image and embracing who you are.
  2. Dove Self-Esteem Project – Free resources and activities for boosting self-esteem in teens.

And remember: Her worth isn’t measured by what those boys think—it’s in her strength, humor, and the love she gets from people like you.

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