My 13-year-old son has been stealing money.

 

"Over the summer, he took $2,500 from his sister by accessing her safe key. The police were involved, but she chose not to press charges.

Now, just last week, he stole $20 from me, and yesterday he took $10 from his other sibling. I’m at my wit’s end. What do I do? And with Christmas coming up, how do I celebrate with him and my other children under these circumstances?"

My Take:

First off, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this—it’s an incredibly tough spot to be in. This isn’t just about the stealing; it’s about trust, fairness to your other kids, and finding a way forward that holds your son accountable while still maintaining the spirit of the holidays.

Let’s break it down.

1. Address the Root Cause

Stealing isn’t just about wanting money—it’s often about something deeper:

  • Is he acting out because of emotional struggles, peer pressure, or a need for attention?
  • Is he trying to buy things he feels he can’t ask for?

It’s time for an honest, calm conversation with him. Avoid yelling or shaming—this is about understanding why he’s doing this so you can address the underlying issue.

2. Set Firm Consequences

He needs to understand that stealing has real consequences, both at home and in the wider world.

  • Reparations: He should repay the money he stole, even if it means doing chores or giving up privileges.
  • Privileges: Pause non-essential activities like gaming, phone use, or outings until he shows he’s earning back trust.

But don’t frame this as punishment—frame it as teaching him responsibility.

3. Rebuild Trust with Safeguards

Your other children need to feel safe, and it’s your job to create that environment.

  • Separate Spaces: Consider locking up valuables or money in a way he cannot access.
  • Open Communication: Reassure your other kids that you’re taking steps to protect them and their belongings.

4. Make Christmas About Lessons, Not Luxuries

This is a teachable moment. Use Christmas as a way to focus on family values:

  • Give Thoughtful Gifts: Choose meaningful, less materialistic presents for him—books about character building, or games that encourage teamwork.
  • Teach Gratitude: Have him participate in giving to others, like volunteering or helping with charity donations.

5. Long-Term Support

If this is part of a larger behavioral pattern, consider involving a counselor. Sometimes, a neutral third party can uncover things kids won’t share with parents.

Silver Lining:
This is an opportunity for growth. Yes, it’s hard right now, but with the right approach, he can learn responsibility, empathy, and trust.

Helpful Resources:

  1. "The Opposite of Spoiled" by Ron Lieber – A guide to teaching kids about money and responsibility, available on Amazon.
  2. Parenting Teens Tips – Practical strategies for navigating tough teenage behavior.

Hashtags:
#ParentingTeens, #ParentingChallenges, #BuildingTrust, #TeenDiscipline, #FamilyValues, #ParentingSupport, #RaisingResponsibleKids, #TeachingLifeLessons, #ParentingTips, #ParentingThroughToughTimes, #TeenBehavior, #ParentingWins, #StrongParenting, #TeenResponsibility, #FamilyDynamics, #LifeLessons, #ParentingWithLove, #ToughLoveParenting, #RaisingTeens, #ParentingJourney, #TeenGrowth, #TrustAndRespect, #ParentingSuccess, #FamilyMatters, #ParentingLife

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