I’ve raised my stepson since he was 4. He’s now 16 and ran away to his grandma’s
A Reader Asks:
"I’ve raised my stepson since he was 4. He’s now 16 and ran away to his grandma’s (dad’s mom). He’s been there for three weeks, telling everyone I abused him because he 'can’t take it anymore.' 🤦🏽♀️ He’s now admitted he lied. What should we do?"
The Answer:
Ah, the joys of parenting teens—a mix of lawyer-level lying skills and Oscar-worthy dramatics. First off, deep breath. You’ve got to handle this with equal parts strategy and humor, because this kid is testing boundaries like he’s preparing for the Olympics.
Step 1: Set the Record Straight
If he’s admitted he lied, great—step one done. Now, get that in writing. Yes, writing. A simple, “I lied about the abuse” signed by him can save you a ton of headaches later when the rumor mill revs up again. Teens don’t realize their words can have lasting consequences, so nip that in the bud.
Step 2: Time for Tough Love
Running away and lying? That’s not a free pass to Grandma’s cushy reset button. You don’t have to drag him back home immediately, but let him know:
- “You’re welcome to come back, but the drama stays at Grandma’s. Here, we work on respect and honesty.”
Step 3: Let Grandma Enjoy the Show
If he wants to stay there, fine. Give Grandma a front-row seat to the teenage rebellion circus. Sometimes a little reality check (and seeing how much food a 16-year-old consumes) works wonders.
Step 4: Rebuild Trust at Your Pace
When he’s ready to come home, set clear boundaries:
- Apologies aren’t enough—he needs to show respect and take responsibility.
A Little Humor to Get You Through:
Teens lie like it’s a sport, but the good news? They’re terrible at covering their tracks. Keep calm, play the long game, and let Grandma realize she’s not running a vacation resort.
Here are two great Amazon books to help you navigate the teenage drama Olympics:
“The Explosive Child” by Ross W. Greene- Perfect for understanding why teens act out and how to handle their strong emotions without losing your cool.
“Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions” by Pat Harvey and Jeanine Penzo- Offers practical tools for rebuilding trust, setting boundaries, and staying sane during turbulent teen years.
Good luck, and may your humor stay intact!



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