It’s been 8 months since my husband of 5 years cheated and lied to me.

 


A Reader Asks:

"It’s been 8 months since my husband of 5 years cheated and lied to me. The divorce is finalized, but I’m struggling to move on. I did manage to gather evidence that helped me in court, thanks to a referral to a professional who uncovered the truth. Now I have my kids, some closure, and I’m slowly piecing things back together. How do I move forward while carrying this baggage?"

The Answer:

First off, hats off to you for making it through an emotionally brutal situation. Divorce is like going through a hurricane, and you’ve come out the other side with your two kids and a shred of closure (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now). So, let’s talk about what’s next.

1. Healing Isn’t Linear, So Don’t Rush It

It’s only been 8 months. Let yourself grieve, feel, and process. You’re not failing at moving on just because you’re still hurting. Healing doesn’t come with a timeline, and closure is more of a journey than a destination.

2. Therapy Is Your Best Friend

Seriously, there’s nothing like unloading all your emotions onto someone whose literal job is to help you untangle them. If you’re not already working with a therapist, now’s the time.

3. Shift the Focus Back to You

You’ve spent enough time on this man’s betrayal. Now, let’s talk about YOU. Rediscover hobbies, set new goals, and prioritize self-care. That could mean picking up yoga, tackling a DIY project, or binge-watching a series without someone asking, “Do we have to watch this again?”

4. Be Honest with Your Kids (Within Reason)

They’re going through this too, so show them what resilience looks like. Be open about feelings (in an age-appropriate way) and focus on creating stability for them. Bonus: It’s great modeling for handling tough emotions.

Books to Help You Rebuild:

  1. “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life” by Tracy Schorn – A no-nonsense guide to moving forward.
  2. “Rising Strong” by Brené Brown – A masterclass on embracing vulnerability and coming back stronger.

You survived lying, cheating, and divorce—parent-teacher conferences are going to feel like a vacation in comparison.

Worth a shot? 💪

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