I’m a single mom with a 16-year-old daughter who’s always done the bare minimum in school

 

just to get by. She has big dreams of being recruited to play her sport at a big college, but she hasn’t put in the effort to get the grades needed for that dream. That’s fine, but she still needs to graduate high school.

Now we’re in the last week of the semester, and she’s barely scraping by. She has one math class that was too hard for her in school, so she’s been taking it online. When she does the work, it’s clear she can handle it, but she won’t put in the time, and now we’re at the deadline.

I’ve been talking to her about this all semester. She knew the deadlines, but every time I bring it up, all I get is, 'I know, Mom, I know.' I’m tired. I’m expected to provide the car, the club sports, and all the fun stuff, but I feel like she’s not doing her part. Whenever I bring it up, it turns into a big argument.

It’s finals week, and the semester ends Friday. At what point do I back off? And what do I do if she doesn’t follow through?"

My Take:

I hear your frustration—it’s hard when you feel like you’re pulling all the weight while your teenager coasts. Trust me, this is a story many parents can relate to, and you’re not alone.

Here’s the tough truth: she’s about to learn a life lesson, and it might not be a fun one. The reality is, you can’t want it more than she does. If she doesn’t step up and finish that math class, the natural consequences will do the teaching for you. Sometimes the best parenting move is stepping back and letting them experience the results of their choices.

But here’s the silver lining: this is a chance for her to understand accountability. You’ve supported her with the car, the sports, and the resources—she has the tools. Now it’s up to her to use them.

Sit down with her one more time and say something like, “I’m stepping back. This is your responsibility. If you need help, I’m here, but I won’t keep pushing.” Then, let the chips fall where they may.

As for the big dreams of college sports? They don’t have to end if she stumbles now. Community college, academic tutoring, and second chances exist for a reason. If she really wants it, she can still get there.

And for you? Give yourself some grace. You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask.

Resources to Explore:

  1. "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed" by Jessica Lahey.
  2. "How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" by Julie Lythcott-Haims.
  3. A fun, motivational wall calendar for her to track deadlines and goals.
  4. BigFuture by College Board - Tools for helping students plan their academic and athletic futures.
  5. A local parenting support group or online forums for parents of teens.

Hashtags:
#ParentingTeens, #ToughLoveParenting, #TeenMotivation, #ParentingChallenges, #SingleMomLife, #RaisingTeens, #TeenGoals, #HighSchoolStruggles, #AccountabilityMatters, #ParentingSupport, #TeachingResponsibility, #LifeLessons, #FuturePlanning, #MomSupport, #ParentingRealities

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