I’m heartbroken. This year, my kids aren’t interested in doing Christmas stuff with me

 


A Reader Writes:

"I’m heartbroken. This year, my kids aren’t interested in doing Christmas stuff with me. Even watching a holiday movie has been a no-go. With the rain, we haven’t done any outdoor activities either, and I feel more alone than ever.

My husband and I are ‘separated’ but still living in the same house without speaking to each other. My mom got sick and couldn’t visit for Thanksgiving, and all my family lives in another country. I can’t afford a plane ticket to go home.

On top of it all, I’m dealing with health issues and have no one to hug me or console me. No friends, no family nearby—it’s the loneliest and hardest holiday season I’ve ever had.

I’m sorry to vent, but I needed to get this off my chest."*

The Answer:
First off, take a deep breath. This situation sounds overwhelming, and anyone would feel the weight of it. But let’s look for ways to lighten the load, even if just a little.

1. Let the Holiday Spirit Be Flexible

Your kids’ lack of interest isn’t about you—it’s about being teenagers. Sometimes the “holiday magic” hits them at random moments. Instead of forcing a big event, try something smaller:

  • Surprise them with hot cocoa in their rooms and a quick chat.
  • Play their favorite music in the house—it doesn’t have to be Christmas carols.

Sometimes meeting them where they are can spark those connections.

2. Create a ‘You Holiday’

You’re allowed to celebrate on your own terms, even if it’s different this year.

  • Order takeout, grab your coziest blanket, and have your own movie night. (Bonus: you get to pick the movie without anyone complaining!)
  • Start a tradition just for you—write a journal entry, light a candle, or bake something just because you want to.

3. Find Connection Beyond the Walls

Even if you’re feeling isolated, there are ways to connect:

  • Virtual family chats: Schedule a Zoom call with relatives who are far away.
  • Join a local group or activity, even if it’s online—it could be a craft night or a community group on social media.

4. Let Yourself Feel

It’s okay to feel sad, lonely, and homesick. Acknowledge those feelings without judging yourself for them. Sometimes, just letting yourself cry or journal about it can be cathartic.

Books to Help You Find Comfort:


  1. “Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times” by Katherine May

    • A beautiful reminder that tough seasons can be an opportunity to find peace.


  2. “The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters” by Priya Parker

    • Offers insights into creating meaningful moments of connection, even in unusual circumstances.


  3. “Present Over Perfect” by Shauna Niequist

    • A guide to embracing the messiness of life and finding joy in small, quiet moments.


If all else fails, remember that teenagers are basically holiday Grinches for a few years. By the time they’re 25, they’ll be begging to decorate with you. For now, let them brood, drink some wine—you’ve got your own holiday magic to create.

Worth a shot?

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