I have a daughter who had a teen pregnancy and she chose to move out with him.

 



"Hey all, I have a daughter who had a teen pregnancy and she chose to move out with him. I have been giving her weekly money as well as paying for the place they are living in, and I just don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.

Do I stop the weekly payments so she has to rely on him? She says she is only staying with him because of the baby, and he doesn’t treat her well or barely even want to hold the baby.
He’s been sponging off her and taking advantage of the situation, so I don’t know if maybe I stop the payments and they both have to live off his wages (with the house paid for by me). Reality will hit, and she will be stronger to tell him it’s not working and she doesn’t want to be with him.
Which she tells us and her siblings that she wouldn’t be with him if they didn’t get pregnant six months after meeting each other. She feels stuck, and I don’t know how to help her. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have helped her move out. I just couldn’t imagine them all living in her room."

My Take: First, let’s confirm her age. If she’s 16 or younger, this situation demands a serious conversation about adoption or long-term solutions for both her and the baby. Teen pregnancies can feel like permanent decisions, but there are options that might provide better futures for everyone involved. This isn't about judgment—it's about ensuring she and her child thrive, not just survive.

If she’s older, this becomes more about fostering her independence and resilience. Right now, your financial support is unintentionally enabling a toxic dynamic. If he’s contributing nothing while taking advantage of her, what’s keeping her there isn’t love—it’s convenience and fear of change. By continuing these payments, you might be prolonging her “stuck” feeling.

Consider this approach: Offer to keep covering the house (so the baby has stability), but stop the direct payments. Shift your focus to supporting her, not them as a couple. Help her create a plan to gain independence—a job, education, or childcare options. This isn’t about punishing her; it’s about empowering her to see that she’s stronger than she realizes.

Helpful Resources:

  2. "Strong Mothers, Strong Sons" by Meg Meeker, M.D. – While focused on mothers and sons, this book provides excellent insights into guiding teens through challenging situations with strength and compassion. It’s available on Amazon and a great tool for empowering young parents to think about long-term values and growth.

  3. Planned Parenthood – A well-established resource for counseling on parenting options, support, and education.

Remember: This journey is as much about her finding her strength as it is about you showing her the way. Supporting her doesn’t mean solving everything for her—it means walking beside her as she figures it out.

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