How can I get my 15-year-old son to hang out with me?

 


A reader asks:

How can I get my 15-year-old son to hang out with me? I had a small win when he walked with me to the corner store for a snack, but I'd like more moments like this.

My take:
Ah, the elusive teenage son, a creature more mysterious than Bigfoot and just as tricky to spot in its natural habitat (anywhere outside their room). First off, kudos on your corner-store walk—snacks are like a secret teenage currency. You’ve cracked the code to get him out of the house: food bribery.

Want more wins? Try these tactics:

  1. Appeal to his interests. Does he like video games? Offer to play with him. Sure, you’ll get annihilated in Call of Duty, but it’s about bonding, not winning.
  2. Make it casual. Teens have a radar for “parent traps.” Skip the grand plans and just say, “Hey, want to grab a burger?” Keep it low-key, like it’s no big deal if he says no (but definitely pout internally).
  3. Leverage his friends. If you’re brave enough, host a pizza night or game night. He’ll come for the socializing, and you’ll get bonus parent points for being the “cool” parent.
  4. Barter time. Let him negotiate: “I’ll hang out with you for an hour if you drive me to meet my friends later.” It’s shameless, but it works.

Above all, keep the lines of communication open and don’t take the rejections personally. His avoidance is probably less about you and more about being a teen trying to act cool—even if they secretly enjoy these moments more than they let on.

Helpful Amazon finds to up your bonding game:

  1. Kan Jam Original Disc Toss Game – Bring this to the backyard or park for some competitive fun.
  2. Ultimate Ears Wonderboom 3 Portable Speaker – Set the mood with his playlist during your next outing.
  3. The Dangerous Book for Boys – A quirky book filled with cool projects and adventures you can explore together.

When all else fails, remember this: snacks are always the answer. If you can lure him out for chips, who knows? Maybe one day he’ll stick around for a full meal.

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