Any tips on how to deal with a 12-year-old boy swearing like a sailor?


 "Any tips on how to deal with a 12-year-old boy swearing like a sailor? Yesterday was by far the worst his language has gotten. Calling his mother and brother every name under the sun and using the F-bomb frequently. TIA."

My Take: Oh, the preteen potty mouth—a rite of passage for some, a nightmare for parents. First off, don’t panic. Swearing is often an attention-seeking behavior, a way to test boundaries, or a misguided attempt to feel “grown-up.” That doesn’t make it acceptable, of course, but it does mean there’s a reason behind the verbal onslaught. Your job is to decode it, not just shut it down.

Start by addressing the why. Is he angry? Stressed? Mimicking something he’s seen or heard? Have a calm, direct conversation when everyone’s cooled down—emphasis on calm, because flipping out will only fuel the fire.

Next, establish clear boundaries. Let him know swearing is unacceptable, especially when directed at family. Be consistent with consequences—no video games, limited phone time, whatever hits where it hurts (but not too deeply, we’re raising humans, not robots).

Finally, model the behavior you want to see. If your household occasionally drops a colorful word or two, it’s time to rein it in. Kids are like sponges, and they soak up more than you think.

Helpful Resources:

  1. "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish – Practical advice for navigating tricky conversations.
  2. Calm Parenting Podcast by Kirk Martin – Great tips for handling behavior issues without losing your cool.

And remember: You’re not just raising a sailor. You’re raising the captain of their own ship, and a good captain knows how to express themselves without going overboard.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My daughter’s pediatrician is concerned that my daughter has an eating disorder.

Image
  "My daughter’s pediatrician is concerned that my daughter has an eating disorder. She lost almost 10lbs since September. She used to be bigger than all her friends since she was in middle school. She likes eating but no exercise or any movement. She used to eat too much sweet and sugary drinks. We were worried about her eating habit because she gained too much weight rapidly in unhealthy ways. Last year, she started hanging out with some girls who are in cheerleading. They hardly eat, and they are very thin. My daughter stopped eating snacks this school year. She started running. I thought it was all good signs until we found out that our daughter tried to throw up at least twice last week. I found food she spit in the toilet because she forgot to flush it. The pediatrician recommended some dieticians, but it is not affordable with no insurance coverage. Any suggestions and advice would be appreciated. Thank you." My Take: First, let me acknowledge how hard this must be fo...
Read more

When SnapChat and Burner Phones Cross the Line: Handling Inappropriate Content

Image
A concerned parent shares their distress after discovering their child using a burner phone for Snapchat and finding inappropriate content sent by a male schoolmate, including explicit images of older men. They’re torn between reporting the issue to the school or directly warning the sender through the app to prevent future incidents. 1. Acknowledge Your Reaction and Emotions First, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of anger, sadness, and protectiveness in this situation. Discovering that your child is exposed to such harmful content is a gut punch, but the fact that you’re addressing it shows your strength and care as a parent. 2. Address the Root Issue with Your Child Before deciding on a course of action regarding the sender, focus on having a heart-to-heart conversation with your daughter: Start With Support : “I know you’re probably feeling overwhelmed about this, but I want you to know we’ll figure it out together.” Explain the Risks : Discuss the dangers of burner phones and ...
Read more

Mom Feels Caught in a Swirl of Confusion: How to Handle This Misunderstanding

Image
A mom shares her sadness over a misunderstanding with her 18-year-old daughter’s boyfriend and his mom. After discussing appropriate behavior at someone else’s house, her daughter misinterpreted the advice and relayed it to her boyfriend, who shared it with his mom, leading to accusations and miscommunication. The mom feels caught in a swirl of confusion and wonders how to handle the situation to restore peace. 1. Start with Empathy for All Parties This situation stems from good intentions all around: You care about teaching your daughter respect and independence. The other mom is trying to enforce boundaries in her home. The kids are navigating a serious relationship while still growing emotionally. Miscommunications are bound to happen with so many perspectives involved. 2. Revisit the Conversation with Your Daughter Your daughter likely shared your talk with her boyfriend because she felt it was helpful. However, it might not have come across as intended. Gently clarify the purpose ...
Read more