Am I wrong if I hide food from my 15-year-old son?

 


A Reader Asks:

"Am I wrong if I hide food from my 15-year-old son? He stress eats due to food insecurity, anxiety, or boredom. I have another child to consider, and my financial and transportation situation makes feeding everyone a constant challenge. Today I bought bread, milk, and peanut butter, and by midday, most of it was gone. I feel guilty hiding food but don’t know what else to do. Any advice?"

The Answer:

Let’s start with this: You’re not wrong, but this situation is a puzzle, and it’s clear the food scarcity is a symptom of much bigger challenges. You’re in a tough spot, and I can feel the stress radiating through your words. Let’s break this down step by step:

1. Hiding Food Isn’t Ideal, But Survival Mode Changes the Game

In a perfect world, food would be abundant, and teens would have limitless peanut butter sandwiches. But when resources are tight, you’re not “hiding food” as much as you’re rationing. It’s triage, not malice. You have to stretch what you have to ensure everyone gets through the day. If that means tucking away some bread for tomorrow, so be it.

2. Skepticism About the “Hopeless” Car Situation

Your transportation woes are piling onto this issue like a flat tire on an already rickety car. Is the car totally irreparable? Have you considered community car repair programs, barter services, or asking a local mechanic for a payment plan? A functioning car could mean more house-cleaning gigs or access to food pantries. Don’t count out the car just yet—it might be your way out of this mess.

3. Time to Call in Some Backup

It sounds like you’re doing everything solo, and that’s exhausting. Can you tap into local resources, neighbors, or even online community groups? Many neighborhoods have Facebook groups or Nextdoor communities where people share resources, offer rides, or even drop off groceries.

4. Addressing Your Son’s Food Habits

Stress-eating in a food-scarce household is like watering a plant with a leaky hose. Have an honest conversation with your 15-year-old about rationing—not as a punishment but as a necessity for the family’s well-being. He’s old enough to understand that his actions directly affect his sibling.

You can also distract him during snack-prone hours. Send him to the library for snacks or encourage him to take a walk or do something active instead of mindlessly eating. It’s not a permanent fix, but it might curb the behavior.

5. What You Can Do Now

  • Apply for Benefits Again: If you’re struggling with ID, check with local advocacy groups that help with documentation. Often, food banks have emergency measures for ID-less families.
  • Community Kitchens: Some churches or community centers offer free meals—no strings attached.
  • DIY Counselor: While you can’t afford therapy, there are free online resources that can help guide conversations with your son about food insecurity and stress.

6. Books to Help Navigate This Chaos

  1. “How to Stretch Your Dollar: Budget-Friendly Tips for Families” by Mary Hunt
    • A great guide for making the most of your resources.

  2. “Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World” by Kristen Welch
    • Helpful for addressing responsibility and gratitude, even when times are tough.


If your son complains about the hidden bread, just tell him you’re saving it for when the "bread fairy" arrives tomorrow morning. It might make him pause long enough to see the bigger picture—or at least crack a smile.

Worth a shot? 🍞

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